Passages of a Plainswoman

He’s Gone

jaelle — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 12:38:42 +0000

No, I didn’t know the Year Keeper that well. I know that he made me laugh, even on the days when things seemed rather miserable. That laughter was a gift that I did hold dear. Its not often that one can laugh at themselves. He had a knack for making me do so without upsetting me. Oh, he wasn’t very popular with everyone. He could be an arrogant sort. I am not blind to his flaws no more than I was blind to mine. That doesn’t mean I won’t miss him.

Good Things

jaelle — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 07:07:00 +0000

Life can get busy. It is good to be busy. It keeps one out of trouble. I have never been one that likes to find myself in trouble, but like everyone it has found me more than once. It often found me as a child when I followed my brothers around. They were larger than life to me. Both older, stronger, wiser than me. They, and my father, were my world. Most of the time they would let me tag along with them, but as they got older that was put to a stop. I remember them tugging my braids, scaring me, playing the pranks that all brothers play on their sisters. I also remember the one time I fell from the kaiila HARD, and I struck my head. I saw all fuzzy. My oldest brother scooped me up and ran me all the way to the wagon for Mother to check it out. It was nothing, I simply knocked myself a bit silly, but they cared. I knew despite all their pranks and tricks that they were there to protect me and always would be.

It was good to visit with them again. I am an Aunt. Twice over. Another son. Two sons for my oldest brother Lorn. He is a proud man, and he should be. His woman is doing very well, too. The baby is adorable. His cry is solid and strong. His grasp on my finger was like a vise. He will be a strong Warrior one day.

I looked in that child’s face, and I saw the future. I saw the future of my family. Through him my brother and his woman will be immortal. Just as through my brothers and me, parents are immortal. In those eyes is what will be the strength of our family, our Tribe, one day. Such a tiny, squirming, warm little bundle holds such a heavy burden on his little shoulders. He carries the burden of – tomorrow. They don’t seem strong enough to carry it, but they do it so well. Yes, he will be a fine Warrior for our people one day. He will earn a name, and he will be strong.

jaelle — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 16:40:59 +0000

Not everything can go smoothly, I remember my mother saying that many times while I was growing up. Things just cannot always be a smooth road, and if they were there are many lessons we would miss out on in the end, anyway. One of the things that I have learned since coming to the First Wagons is that bit of logic applies here as well. Bumps in the road, yes I have had a couple of them. The bumps are not bad things, though. Those bumps are their own lessons if you look at them right. I do try to look at them right.

The bump can bring to mind finding other ways to deal with the obstacles that block your path. You cannot always go over it. You cannot always go around it. You cannot always go ‘through’ it, either. The obstacles must be dealt with, but there is no ‘set’ way to do this. Each one is handled differently, and we decide how to deal with it at that time. The choice isn’t always the right one. Sometimes, we have to rethink our plans. There is no such thing as a perfect method that works all the times. That is probably because no two obstacles are the same.

Confusions

jaelle — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 21:55:36 +0000

Things can be confusing in life. That is nothing new. I am sure I am not the only one who has stood back, scratched her chin, and wondered. The last night and day have been filled with quite filled with those things that make you do that.

The first of those moments was the Year Keeper. I do not know him well, but I have seen him often enough to know that he was acting strangely last night. He seemed not his usual self, and he seemed filled with guilt over something. It did not take long to figure out what was causing his guilt. It seems his kaiila, evil thing that beast is, ate T’zuri’s frevet Snooker. Now, of course he didn’t want to tell her this. He didn’t want her feelings to be hurt. The fact that Snooker is missing had T’zuri out of sorts to begin with.

That was a mess. I do hope they got it worked out. The Year Keeper usually makes me laugh, and T’zuri is a woman I consider well on the way to becoming friends with. Her and the Year Keeper being upset had me upset as well.

I ended up staying up most of the night to finish the project Mayala assigned to me. It was not that I had a time limit, but it was that the idea took hold. It needed to be finished. It was something that grabbed me. I enjoyed the work. It was a challenge. I am also pleased with how it turned out.

Things seem to be coming together for me. One day, one step, one confusion sorted out at a time.

Moments

jaelle — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 21:41:37 +0000

One of the other Leather Workers by the name of Mayala has been very helpful and warm to me. I would like to think we are on our way to becoming friends. I heard that she has been claimed by Saresh who is also of my Clan. I can’t say I am surprised to hear of this turn of events. While they were not overly so there was obvious affection between them. I am very happy for the both of them, and I wish them nothing but joy to come in their life together that they have so recently begun.

Mayala has also given me my first task to try and complete. She has given me a basket of various leather scraps. They are all small, all different shapes, and all sorts of colors. It is not the Tuchuk way to waste even the smallest of things that still have use. This is a lesson about that, but I do think there is much more to learn here. I am to create something for someone that is important to me. What ever I create is to express something from my heart to that person. I have an idea, and I know who it is for. Now, I just need to make it happen.

Seasons of Life

jaelle — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:58:13 +0000

I remember being a child. I think that was the spring. Everything was so new, so exciting. Every blade of grass, every insect, every single thing I saw could hold my attention for ahns. I miss that wide eyed amazement at simply being sometimes. I miss the newness. I love to watch the children, and watch that wonder in their eyes as they take in the world around them. I love to watch them grow bolder, to wander a bit further from the wagons, and take their steps to becoming the men and women they will be. The spring of life is filled with so many firsts that will never come again. We don’t prize those firsts until we are old enough to look back on them.

I think I am in the summer of my life. Things are still new. There is not so much new as when I was younger. There is also learning to look at things in new ways as perception changes. The eyes of a child are not the eyes of a woman. Now, I am learning to see the world through the eyes of a woman. It is frightening. It feels like an uneven path. It is also good. It makes me feel stronger each coming day.

The other seasons await me, but I am not in a hurry to get to them. I want to enjoy the one I am in. I want to live life. I want to experience it. Its only just begun for me.

Finding Myself

jaelle — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 23:50:40 +0000

I have been told many times that it is not the destination, but the journey, that matters. I think I am finally figuring out what that means. My journey is not really toward a ‘destination’, but it is a journey none the less. It is a journey to find my place among my people. This journey is about finding myself. It has not been without its pit falls and blocks, but that is to be expected I suppose.

It seems to me that knowing one’s self is the best gift one can give to one’s self. How can one be true to the Tribe if they are not true to themselves. How can I know what I bring to the Tribe if I do not know who it is I am. I am discovering these things. I am discovering I am stronger than I ever knew. I am discovering that strength is not always strength of the arm, but there are quieter forms of strength as well. I am learning that each person is different, and it is all right to be different. No two Tuchuk are the same, just as no two blades of grass are the same. I look forward to this journey. I do not expect it to be easy, but is anything of worth ever easy?

Transferring Posts

jaelle — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 23:34:53 +0000

(The following are posts written in another blog, brought to this one.)

Monday, December 10, 2007

8:03:53 PM EST
Feeling Hopeful

It Begins

I have been summoned to the First Wagons. It does fall upon me to prove that I deserve to remain there. I am excited, and I am nervous. This is a huge step in my life. Where my path will go from here is anyone’s guess. I only know that I can do nothing but walk it with my head held high. I don’t know how to do anything else, and I wouldn’t try to do otherwise anyway. Time to face my future.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

7:14:48 PM EST
Feeling Happy

New Faces

I met many of those from the First Wagons last night. I do worry that I might get faces and names mixed up. There is a closeness there that was very warm to feel. I was not excluded, though I was not dragged into the mix either. I was given the time to sort of feel out my footing which is something I am grateful for. It can be a bit confusing to be around so many that are new to me.

I met several of the women. The one that stands out in my mind is Sakmeta, though. She likes pink, and she wants boots with pink ribbons on them. She was gracious enough to ask me to make them, and after having see the work of one of the other Leather Workers I am a bit shocked she would ask an unknown. I am glad. I will make her the best boots I am able to make. It is a chance to show my own skills.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

7:56:14 AM EST
Feeling Quiet

Laughter

Another night has gone by. I met more new faces. I made a trade as well. It seems that Sakmeta has given me the name of Jujubee. I’ve heard worse names tossed about the fires, but I have to admit that I prefer my own name.

In all I am enjoying my time, and I am learning quite a bit. In the trade I asked the Singer to make a song that would help me learn about those that share the fires of the First Wagons. It seems a good idea to learn about those that are here already.